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How to be a Journalist Though Jugged
(The inmates of an American prison have started a paper of their own, conducted for convicts by convicts.)
The October number of our enterprising little contemporary, Gaol
Jottings (Sikes and Turpin; price, two screws of ’baccy when the
warder ain’t looking), is fully up to the standard which we have
grown accustomed to expect. There have been changes in the editorial staff
since the September issue, Mr Jabez K McLurkin having succeeded Mr J
Gold-Brick as chief editor, owing to the latter having been released on
ticket-of-leave; while the society gossip is now in the capable hands of Mr
“Jimmy” Fagin, who, as our readers will probably remember, was
one of the most fascinating members of the Smart Set sentenced last year.
Space forbids us to quote at great length from the many admirable articles
contained in the current number, but we cannot refrain from noticing the
instructive interview with Mr Reginald Peace, which forms No 3 of the
“Master Workers” series. It is interesting, as showing how
genius runs in families, that Mr Peace is a connection of his great
namesake, Charles. “A strong man, this, reader”, says the
writer. “A glance at the small, receding forehead, the massive head
(the shape of which is emphasised by his habit of wearing his hair close
cropped), the firm jaw, protruding like the ram of a battleship, the keen
eyes under the pent-house of brow, and we no longer wonder why it was that
far so many years the name of Reginald Peace was a by-word among the
constables of South-West Sydenham.” Reading on, we find an
expert’s views on burglary as a profession. “Burglary”,
he said, in answer to the representative’s question, “is not
what it was. Electric-bells and dogs that don’t seem to care for
poisoned meat are animadverting against its success. You would think every
one of them was a vegetarian, and lived upon a diet of pea-nuts and
plasmon, like Mr Eustace Miles. It’s as much as the most expert
members in the profession can do to make both ends meet. Competition, my
dear sir, ruinous competition, is at the bottom of all the trouble. What
with alien immigrants undercutting the trade and overworking themselves, a
noble art is being reduced to a sweater’s den. A dozen years back it
was different. A man could be a burglar and a gentleman.”
We wish we could quote the whole of this pathetic interview, but we think
we have done enough to give our readers some idea of the way in which
modern hustle and alien competition are ruining our old British
industries.. The foreigner is beating us on our own ground. England must
Wake Up, to use the Prince of Wales’ very words.
Mr Reginald Blinkbit’s exciting serial, “The Forger of
Folkestone”, continues to run well. The scene in which the hero
murders the two detectives in the lonely cottage is a most realistic piece
of writing, and is evidently based on a personal experience of the
author’s. The passage which concludes, “With a swinging blow
the gallant burglar brought down the poker on the head of the elder
detective. He fell like a log, never knowing what struck
him”—could only have been written by a man who knew his ground
thoroughly. We congratulate the judicious editor of Gaol Jottings
on securing a contributor who is qualified to rank among our best-known
novelists of sensation.
Under the pen-name of “Bertie”, another writer contributes a
series of “Proverbs for Professionals”, which repay quotation,
such as “Too many cops spoil the scoop”, “A shot in time
saves nine”, “Procrastination in a thief means
‘time’”, and many others.
A useful feature is the “Answers to Correspondents” column,
conducted by the Editor. It is full of excellent advice.
“Anxious” is informed that only black boots should be worn with
a frock coat. “The usual method of procedure”, says the reply
to “Etiquette”, who wishes to know what is the right way of
obtaining an introduction to a lady, “is as follows: When you meet
her, you say, ‘Ullo!’ ‘Ullo! to you’ will be the
modest and probable reply. ‘Now, then; now, then’, you say.
‘Not so much of it; not so much of it.’ ‘Why are you
jostling me?’ she will rejoin. ‘I am not jostling
anybody’, is your correct, if inaccurate, answer. The acquaintance
may now be said to have been established.”
As in the September issue, the Poet’s Corner is well filled. That
most prolific of bards, Mr Benjamin de la Rue, has in this number an
“Ode to a Night in Gaol”, after the manner of Keats. Mr U le
Gan is represented by another of his “Songs of Street Araby”,
and a contributor whose name is new to us, Mr B H Gee, finds a place for
his Swinburnian effort, “A Canal Passage”.
We regret that we cannot quote further the contents of this brightest of
prison periodicals. We must conclude by congratulating the Editor once
more, and wishing him a continuance in a position which he has so
thoroughly deserved to win.
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- Chai Pei
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- Carter
- Николай
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