Small Bass, Light Lager — Mr. Mulliner's companions
Reginald Mulliner — Nephew who inherits money and sings "Old Man River"
Amanda Biffen — Loves Reginald
Sir Jasper Todd — Amanda's rich uncle and guardian who sells Reggie some stock
Percy, Lord Knubble of Knopp — Lives at Knubble Towers and loves Amanda
Popjoy — Police Constable of Lower Smattering
Bagshot — Reginald Mulliner's postman (*)