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If I Were You
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First published in US: September 3 1931 by Doubleday Doran, Garden City, New York
First published in UK: September 25 1931 by Herbert Jenkins, London

Russian translation

  • Na vashem meste by N. Trauberg: 2003

'Kind hearts are more than coronets'

When Antony, fifth Earl of Droitwich, is spotted in the rose garden kissing Violet - rich, beautiful and as hard-boiled as a fashion plate - his future marriage and the security of his stately home seem certain. But when his disreputable old Nanny, Ma Price, spills some distinctly unsavoury beans Tony's life is turned ipside down.

His new position is not so uncomfortable as his shocked family fears: he has fallen head over heels for transatlantic charms of Polly Brown. She is a manicurist and no fit mate for a belted earl - or is she? And is he? It will take all the efforts of Tony's brother Freddie the Infallible, with the help of Price's Derma Vitalis hair resorter, to comb out the tangles and find a remedy to slave everyone's pride - and their pockets.

If I Were You If I Were You If I Were You If I Were You If I Were You If I Were You
Click for enlarge book cover


Anthony Claude Wilbraham Bryce, 5th Earl of Droitwich 30 year old hero engaged to Violet but loves Polly
Charles Lord Droitwich's footman
Theodore Slingsby Lord Droitwich's butler and Syd's uncle
Lady Lydia Bassinger Lord Droitwich's aunt in her mid-forties
Hon. Frederick Chalk-Marshall Tony's younger brother
Sir Herbert Bassinger Lydia's husband
Violet Waddington Tall, slender and beautiful heiress engaged to Tony
Tubby, Lord Bridgnorth Freddie's friend and gossip writer
G.G. Waddington Violet's father, a millionaire of the 97 Soups
(Ma) Bella Price Tony's nurse and Slingsby's sister
Sydney Lancelot Price A Socialist barber in Knightsbridge who thinks he's the real Lord Droitwich
Polly Brown Heroine American manicurist at Syd's shop with brains. Loves Tony.
George Christopher Meech Barber in Syd's shop
Luella Beamish Tubby's American Fiancee
J.G. Weatherby Lawyer for Lord Droitwich
Murgatroyd (*)
Bertie Smethurst (*)

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