I will comment only on your second remark.

Original text read:
"And when he does escape you can picture him telling everybody to be careful how they let you get hold, of them, because the first thing they know you will be drooling"

Now, if you don't mind, "to drool" means "To let saliva or mucus flow from the mouth or nose, as young children and idiots do". A beautiful picture, isn't it? But I personally like another explanation more: "To let (spittle) flow from the mouth". Example: "[A frog] with his chin upon a heart-leaf, which serves for a napkin to his drooling chaps" (THOREAU Walden iv. (1886)).

This having said, I would ask you to be more specific about what you particularly disliked in my translation.