1. Тем временем в Кастлвуде, вооруженная блокнотом и новеньким фотоаппаратом, Долли находила собеседницу очень даже милой.
то же, что у аллы ахмеровой.

Perhaps.... But if you don't know what is wrong with the sentence - you just know that it _is_ wrong - then I'm only left to trust you with your feelings. But I certainly prefer Andrey Shibanov's variant of translation.

1.а шагали они по дорожкам ...
хм.

I am a bit dumb today. Besides, the words have been taken out from the context and some strange "a" appeared.
Would you be a little more specific in your comment, if you please. After all, "What's wrong with the tie! I've seen you give it a nasty look before. Speak out like a man. What's wrong with it?"

2. Бьюсь об заклад, любой, кто вернулся сюда из чужих стран, не раз стучал себя по лбу...
то же, что у аллы ахмеровой.

OK, good, very well, the original really sounds like a quotation. Can you remind me, where it was taken from.

3. ...что страшная (и, быть может, очень болезненная) встреча не за горами...
болезненная? что же, ее будут бить? подсвечниками?

I insist upon my variant here. Of course, "painful" may be translated only as "nepriyatnaya" (and I made it "strashnaya"), but if you meet a person who previously stole your jewelry (as Dolly did to Mrs Prosser) - how would you act? The candelabra may as well be used as a weapon here.

4. ...убежище, столь нужное любому разоблаченному мошеннику.
а там не сказано, что ее разоблачили. разоблаченному мошеннику нужен адвокат.

Well, it was not said so directly, but "the hide-out which on occasions like this is so essential to the criminal classes" can be interpreted (mind you, interpreted and not directly translated) just like I did. See for yourself: after Dolly flies it will become self-evident that something is fishy here. She won't be able to return - she won't be ever trusted again. "Razoblachit'" does not exactly mean to sic police on a person and to imprison him (that's exactly when the time for the lawyers comes) - to unmask a criminal will be quite enough. And the criminal himself (or herself as in this case) can easily run away and hide somewhere deep underground. This is not mutually exclusive at all.