Memorable Quotes from
"Jeeves and Wooster"

Bertie: One cannot be a successful dictator AND design women's underclothing.
Jeeves: No, sir.
Bertie: One or the other. Not both.
Jeeves: Precisely, sir.

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[Bingo has revealed his love for Honoria to Bertie]
Bingo Little: We walk together in the gardens most evenings, and it sometimes seems to me there's a look in her eye.
Bertie: Yes, I know that look. Like a Sergeant-Major.

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[Bingo intoduces Bertie to Honoria's younger brother, Oswald]
Bertie: Well, hello Oswald. How are you?
Oswald: All right.
Bertie: Nice place, this.
Oswald: It's all right.
Bertie: Like fishing, do you?
Oswald: It's all right.
[Bingo and Bertie walk on]
Bertie: Why don't you shove him in?
Bingo Little: Into the water?
Bertie: Wake him up a bit.
Bingo Little: She'd never forgive me. She's devoted to the little brute.

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[greeting the Glossips before trying to prove his sanity]
Bertie: What ho, what ho, what ho.

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Bertie: Yes! And, of course the old devil himself. Yes, he really put one up on the uncle didn't he? Thanks to Jeeves's masterpiece. What a wheeze!
Muriel: Darling, this is a friend of mine, Mr. Wooster. Mr. Wooster I'd like you to meet my husband, Mr. Worple.
Bertie: Husband? Huh! What rot!

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[a very hungover Bertie opens his front door, to find a smartly dressed man standing there]
Jeeves: I was sent by the agency, sir. I was given to understand that you require a valet.

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[Bertie swallows the hangover cure concocted by his visitor, and quickly recovers]
Bertie: That's remarkable. You're engaged!
Jeeves: Thank you, Sir. My name is Jeeves.
Bertie: I say, Jeeves, what an extraordinary talent!
Jeeves: Thank you, sir.
Bertie: Eh, could one enquire what...?
Jeeves: I'm sorry, sir.
Bertie: No, no, of course not.
Jeeves: I'm not at liberty to divulge the ingredients, sir.
Bertie: No, no, no, of course not. Secrets of the guild and all that.
Jeeves: Precisely, sir.